Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Women's fashion has just gotten a whole lot more cyclical...


One of these women is ovulating. Guess which.

It's no secret that women are, without a doubt, the most confusing and mysterious animals in all of nature. The basis of their deceptions lie in their singular ability to conceal their ovulation without the usual fertility advertisements that the females of other species so whorishly exhibit. Before we label the female chimp a trollop, however, it should be noted that these advertisements (sexual swellings, color changes, etc.) have been genetically selected for, and the same holds true for their absence in human females . The question many have, at this point, is why.

For the past fifty years, certain physical anthropologists have contended that concealed ovulation was responsible for forming the foundation of pair bonding (monogamy) among early hominids (the thought process being that if you are a male, and do not have any clear indication that your chosen mate may be ovulating, the only way to guarantee the offspring your mate will bring to term is carrying your genes is to make sweet, sweet hominid love with her as many times as possible until she becomes pregnant. Thus, the beginning of man's long and tragic love affair with the shotgun approach.) Academic paradigms aren't particularly well known for their vicissitudes, but all that may change courtesy of a recent psychological study conducted by UCLA which revealed that women unconsciously dress in a more alluring manner when they are ovulating.

For those too lazy busy to click on the preceding link, the study concludes that during the peak of the ovulation cycle college-age women are more likely to wear flashy clothing, accessorize, show a little skin, and flirt more openly. I certainly find the implications of this study to be intriguing (NEVER TRUST A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!) but I would stop short of claiming that, "Haselton and colleagues said their findings disproved the conventional wisdom that women are unique among animals in concealing, even from themselves, when they are most fertile." Try as they might, cultural behaviors do not- and cannot- override biologically determined behaviors and adaptations, and the simple fact is that the (human) female body has evolved to not advertise its fecundity in any overtly noticeable manner. That in mind, if the findings of this study can be corroborated, we may well need to consider that perhaps the average woman is (subconsciously) aware of her body's inner workings after all.
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Thursday, October 5, 2006

Have we learned nothing from Alien vs. Predator?


The BBC reported earlier today that scientists unearth "monster" fossils burried beneath the Artic ice. I'm no scientist (well, ok. If you're feeling charitable with your definition then I'm a social scientist...) but if something that could devour an adult human whole has been interred in a remote corner of the world colder than Gertrude Stein's bed for the past 150 million years, you should probably just leave it the hell alone.
Speaking of unimaginable terror arising from the most unlikely sources, here's a cautionary tale to all you writing types out there: make sure you know who owns the rights to your work. Otherwise, you could have an official sequel to your magnum opus (say, for sake of this story, Peter Pan) published 70 years after your death by someone you've never even heard of before.
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