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As Nintendo steels itself for the launch of its make-or-break next generation console, the Wii-U, casual gamers are struggling to figure out what to do with their beloved Wiis. While Nintendo assured its customers that the Wii-U would have full backwards compatibility with the Wii Remotes and all Wii accessories, the Nintendo loyal will probably end up scrapping their Wii Remotes for the new, if unwieldy, Wii-U controller.
There are, of course, other possible uses for those unloved Wii Remotes...
Remember to always use a Wii Condom
Above is the Mojowijo, the purported first-ever personal vibrator accessory for the Nintendo Wii. The design has been around for a year or so, but an active prototype is still in the final stages of testing (worst, or best, job ever?). The good news is that the company has finally decided on official product colors: Not-At-All-Creepy Purple, and Hide-Your-Shame Black!
Far from just a vibrating dildo affixed to the end of a Wii Remote, the Mojowijo capitalizes on the native bluetooth capabilities of the remote and allows a user to control the Mojowijo with their computer. Building upon this, the company behind Mojowijo- which advertises for Russian singles on their website- also realized the potential bliss this could bring those in a long-distance relationship and added an online interface to allow a far-flung loved (or at least trusted) one to control the user's personal pleasure.
...which is pretty much what the dudes who host internet porn sites have been doing since 1995! *ahem* moving along...
Sadly, the design isn't so simple as plug-and-play (which is odd considering it's a sextoy), and one must have a few items handy before they can truly harness the Mojowijo's remote vibrator capabilities. Namely: a Wii Remote, the Mojowijo sextoy accessory, a Windows PC (XP or better), 2GB of RAM, a healthy spirit of sexual exploration, and a Skype account. Specifics of how the Mojowijo works from there are a bit vague, but thankfully they've created a SFW tutorial video on how the process will work.
Once the novelty of the Mojowijo wears off, most people are quick to realize that it is little more than a (poor) DIY replacement for phone sex, sexting, or nude Facetime calls with the one you love. In the time it would take someone to set this up and test both ends of the connection, they could have easily downloaded 2-3 episodes of a new hentai and diddled themselves silly with the Wii Remote- vibrating or otherwise.
All of this in mind: I am never touching my friend's Wii Remotes ever again.