Thursday, July 5, 2012

Phantasy Star Online 2 has the very breast of problems

Few franchises in the history of video games have endured as well as Phantasy Star. While by no means as prolific as some other Fantasy franchises to come out of Japan, Sega's interplanetary RPG has developed a strong and healthy fan base since its first installment was released in 1987.

The latest entrant into the franchise - Phantasy Star Online 2 - is a revolutionary cross-platform (PC, Android, iOS, PS Vita) multiplayer action RPG that just crawled out of the beta testing stage in Japan earlier this month. Unfortunately, there are still a few bugs lingering around the game that weren't noticed by the beta testers... particularly in the department of boob physics.

Finally, a game has arrived that has made Dissidia's breast physics look classy!

I long ago confessed that I'm mystified by the female body in general and breasts in particular, but they don't actually do this... right? I can imagine that female character in the above video is a little upset about being crammed into that BDSM Space Elf costume, so maybe the animators thought it would be best to take her angry eye twitch up to the next level.

Curiously, the spastic boob bug in Phantasy Star Online 2 does not seem to be relegated to a specific area or cutscene- it pops up (and out of) the game from the character creation screen onward.

A warning to the female readers of this humble site: after watching the video below, you will probably be filled with an overwhelming desire to go home, bury your face in your lingerie drawer, and thank every one of your bras individually.

In Phantasy Star Online 2's defense, these could be the most acrobatic breasts that I've ever seen.

I'm just happy that Sega decided to skip the Nintendo 3DS this time around. Those hyperactively jiggling jugs would be terrifying in 3D!