Monday, April 1, 2013

April Fool's Day rumor roundup

Ah, April 1st.  A day reserved for gag announcements, fake product reveals, and lulz in place of news.  Once upon a time, an April Fool's Day joke took intelligence and patience to craft.  Nowadays, every blog, dick, and Harry with an online presence takes the opportunity to spread fake news in the name of an April Fool's joke.

Although it's still relatively early in the day, here are some April Fool's Day news items making their way around the 'net, and the Kawaiian Punch verdict on them.

Bethesda announces New Skyrim DLC "Hammerfell"
KP Verdict: False

You can be forgiven about getting excited about the prospect of a new Skyrim DLC expansion, but this April Fool's Day story was quickly debunked.

Bible Black coming to 3DS & Wii-U
KP Verdict: (unfortunately) False

Although this one hasn't been disproven yet, there's no way in Miyamoto's green earth that Nintendo would publish one of the most infamous futanari Eroge games for their kid-friendly consoles.  If you feel a sting of disappointment over this news, ask yourself honestly: does demonic futanari ever need to be in 3D?

Square Enix launches Kickstarter for PS4 HD remake of Final Fantasy VII
KP Verdict: False

This is one of the oldest April Fool's day stories to hit the web, and this time it comes from the French site  If Square Enix ever decides to release an HD remake of FFVII, they will most certainly not launch a Kickstarter to fund it (that's what their creatively bankrupt mobile games like All the Bravest are for).  Stil, considering the source nation's "poisson d'avril" prank tradition of sticking a fish to someone's back - this rumor is relatively benign.

The HatsuneMiku YouTube channel becomes the Miku-Dayo Channel
KP Verdict: (thankfully) False

Miku-Dayo (or Mikudayo) are horrifying, full-bodied Nendoroid depictions of Hatsune Miku that began as an internet meme but then became an actual thing.  In miniature, the Nendoroid's - seen in Project Mirai - are quite cute, but once they become life-sized they take on a horror all their own.  Thankfully, this April Fool's Day announcement is just a joke.  ...right?

George Takei stars in Star Wars Reboot & Thinkgeek releases new products
KP Verdict: Mixed

You can set your watch to the April Fool's Day announcements of George Takei and Thinkgeek.  Last year Takei announced that he'd be starring in a new Star Trek project Excelsior and this year he announced that he'll star in the Abrams-directs Star Wars reboot as Ceti Maru. Expect a "got ya" post in a few hours.

Meanwhile, Thinkgeek trotted out some awesome swag like the Batman Family Car Decal Set, Minecraft Creeper Body Pillow, and Death Star Trench Toss.  These are all fake products, but like the USB Powered Pet Rock, Tautaun Sleeping Bag, and Canned Unicorn Meat, there's a chance that they'll become real products soon.

Fingers crossed for the Batman Decal set!