Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Object of geek desire: a truly epic Battletoads oil painting

Any 8-bit gamer worth their power glove is familiar with Battletoads.  At once fun and frustrating, this early '90s beat-'em-up is generally regarded as one of the most difficult video games ever made.

Yet despite its frustration, Battletoads was a lot of fun.  It took the familiar arcade-style world of Double Dragon and brought to it a cheesy, over-the-top Heavy Metal aesthetic. If Dragonforce wasn't in their early teenage years when Battletoads was released, you could be damn sure that they'd be lined up to provide the game's soundtrack.

It was just that sort of game - which is why I like to think that many Battletoads fans would want this hanging in their living rooms - perhaps over a swanky, gas-powered fireplace:

Yes, this painting is (poorly) censored.  Read on, MacDuff, if you want the full monty

Enter, Battle Toad - a sprawling oil painting (?) created by Etsy seller Misael Armendariz.  The 20" x 24"might not be as huge as you'd like, but what it lacks in size it more than makes up for in classiness.

See what I did there? Making the "ass" in classiness all bold and such?  Well, there's a reason for that: the above picture is censored.  I figured an artistically rendered butt crack wouldn't break most people's SFW filters, but I censored it to be safe.  If you're looking for the full, unadulterated experience you can either click here for the uncensored version or check out the original Etsy listing.

Unfortunately, Battle Toad's epic grandeur comes at a rather steep price - namely, $500 (but hey, free shipping!)  This seems like a small price to pay to commemorate a cult classic from the early console days and, as an added bonus, Battle Toad will feel right at home next to your Pre-Raphaelite prints from Posters Plus.