Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Object of geek desire: HBO's deliciously expensive Game of Thrones cookies

There was a time - not so long ago - that the words "Game of Thrones" would only be recognized by those who had the attention span and determination to slog through 4,900 pages of intrigue, incest, and people repeatedly breaking their fasts.

Now, thanks to the awesome production values of HBO's ratings juggernaut Game of Thrones there are millions of new fans hungry for the latest developments in the lands of Westeros.  And for these hungry masses, HBO has a new line of delicious and luxurious... cookies?

Enter the officially licensed Game of Thrones House Sigil Cookies.  I ran across these randomly a week or two back while bumming around New York and thought they were pretty nifty.  So much so that I grabbed a Targaryen cookie and headed over to the register.  Just before I went to pay, however, I flipped said cookie over, grabbed a drink of Diet Coke, and cued up a somewhat belated spit-take.

The fucking thing cost $10.99!

Mind you, the cookie came from the premium Eleni's New York bakery, but it was the size of your standard cookie and pre-wrapped in crinkly plastic.  If I'm going to drop $10+ bucks on a cookie, that bastard better come straight out of the oven and be the size of a small dinnerplate.

Anyway.  HBO magnanimously realizes that not everyone has the luxury of traipsing into Manhattan to browse through their admittedly impressive store full of sweet, themed merchandize, so it decided to make the Game of Thrones House Sigil Cookies available to order in bulk on its website.

$45.00 will net you a set of 4 (four) cookies bearing the heraldry of House Baratheon, House Lannister,   House Targaryen, or House Stark.  Although House Tyrell of Highgarden's signature rose is pictured in the $55.00 Set of Five, it's not available for shipping individually on the website.

Add to each order of cookies an $18.00 (!!!) shipping surcharge, and the appeal of these cookies begins to diminish even further. Of course, those looking to save can pick up a set of 5 "Mini Cookies" for $16.99... which almost seems reasonable by comparison, until you add the shipping into the equation.

While these cookies are undeniably eyecatching, sugar cookies are not exactly the most difficult thing in the world to bake. If you're interested in these, I'd recommend spending some time in your local supermarket browsing through colored icing tubes, learn how to make icing stencils, and save yourself a good $50 bucks in the process.