Friday, October 4, 2013

So, dinosaur erotica is a thing now...

Internet Rule 34 clearly states that, "...if it exists, there IS porn of it" and any who doubt this truism find themselves on dark, dark parts of the internet where fetishes unknown to the daylight world hold court.

Like bioluminescent fish far below the ocean's surface, these fetishes are unknown to most workaday people and inspire feelings of curiosity and revulsion with their very existence.  One such fetish, which I'll call "Fantasy Beast Erotica", is apparently a thing and is quite popular for those who've dreamed of having sex with dinosaurs, dragons, gryphons, trolls, and centaurs.

Now, admittedly, maidens have sex with trolls is nothing new - hentai's been on that shit for years - but dinosaurs and dragons?  That's new to me.

I'd respect this author *so* much more if the title was Ptaken by the Pterodactyl

These "books" are all the work of midwestern Amazon author Christie Sims who - according to her biography page - is "....just a plain old, everyday Midwestern girl that lives a normal life. However, while my outward tastes are relatively simple, my inner thoughts are filled with lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful monsters having their way with beautiful maidens."

Also, she's apparently the girl on the cover of Mounted by the Gryphon - not to be confused with this Shutterstock model, of course.

Anyway, I put the word "books" in quotes above not out of judgment for her genre of choice - hey, the world needs more monster sex lit! - but because each of her titilating titles clocks in a modest couple of thousand words (~5,000 or so, based on the non-joke reviews) but that seems like a fair trade-off for the $2.99 that she commands for each book.

One thing can be said for Sims, she's committed to her course. A search on Amazon's Kindle store turns up quite an impressive collection of fantasy beast erotica with a brief foray into size play.

In a sense, I can't help but applaud Sims for turning Jurassic Park porn into steamy erotica instead of the standard vore fare you're likely to find when a T-Rex wanders across a nubile maiden in need of guidance, but on the other hand... do people really dream about dinosaur sex?

The answer is yes, apparently, with both carnivores and herbivores.  Truly, we live in an age of enlightened sexuality.